I’m Kyro, a single dad of my eleven month old son. I got through a lot of struggles that led me to depression. At first, I didn’t knew what depression was until I got inside that shit.
I had a hard time handling depression as a single dad because I don’t really talk to people about my feelings. That was until I broke the ice and spilled it all out. I never knew that to overcome depression, you must talk about it and do things that will help you move forward.
I got separated with my wife after my son turned six months old. She didn’t let me take my son, so I’m forced to leave without him.
We aren’t married yet so should I call her a live in partner? Okay.
We used to live together since she got pregnant. And when she turned to be five months pregnant, I felt a sudden change in her behavior.
That was a common scenario for pregnant women, maybe? She’s easily irritated, started throwing things at me, shouting out loud and some more unlikely things. And that continued until our son turned six months old.
I was so stressed that time and didn’t have much patience to withstand our relationship.
After a month, she gave me full custody of our son. I don’t know why, but I felt happy and anxious.
My son won’t suck on a baby bottle cause he’s breastfed. He can’t sleep well for a whole one week.
I was forced to leave my job and take care of my son, alone.
My savings were running low, I didn’t have any assets, renting in a small apartment, washing dishes and clothes, cleaning the house, feeding a son, no one to talk to, thinking about my ex and many many more problems.
I was overthinking every single fucking minute. But when I did all of these, i felt like depression slowly fading inside me.
Here’s how I handled my depression:
Talking To My Son
Although he can’t understand, I tried talking to my son about my feelings. I know it sounds crazy, but this helps me!
He thought I was just talking “blah blah blah” and he smiles and chuckles. What I really said in that “blah blah blah” was “I don’t have money to buy you milk”.
He chuckled when I said that. It’s like he laughed at me being broke. My dry lips cracked cause I suddenly returned him a big smile.
This is a fun thing to do because at his age, he’s starting to react when I talk to him. But there’s a time that he gives no reaction at all.
I still enjoy this now, I wonder if I can talk to him like this when he’s a teenager. You should do this too! You won’t have much time to do this if your child hits puberty!
Plus you will feel a lot more connected to your child if you do this frequently.
Reaching Out Some Friends
At first, I was shy on telling my friends about my problem. I thought it wasn’t a cool thing to be talking seriously about my depression.
A close friend of mine onced messaged me and asked me how am I doing. I said i’m good, but he asked about what happened to me.
We talked about my struggles and gave me some advice. That somehow helped me. I felt after being a single dad that I don’t have friends anymore.
And that friend of mine proved me wrong. True friends are always friends even though you may not have contact for a long time.
They are more than happy to talk about your problems and help you out.
Reach out to one of your closest friends out there if you need someone to talk to. You’ll get the best advice from them because they know about your strengths and weaknesses.
Remember my friend who messaged me? he told me about the Marvel’s Cinematic Universe. I’m not really a fan of Marvel and I haven’t watched a single movie of Stan Lee’s masterpieces.
But I got hooked in that sequel, watched it from Captain America: The first Avenger. It’s cool.
I forgot about what’s happening. Instead of thinking about my struggles, I’m now thinking about what’s with the next movie.
In an event like depression, entertainment sometimes lifts up your feelings.
You could also try watching animes. I recommend Naruto! The main character is a lonely boy and you will have a slight motivation from that story. I know some of you are not interested in animes but give it a shot, they make great stories!
Way back 5 years ago, I rap and write lyrics. I like writing, plus I can express my feelings vocally.
If you have a talent, maybe a singer, having current feelings like this makes a great song!
Do whatever you can to entertain yourself. It’s a good thing you’re reading a blog now, this is another form of entertainment.
So the point here is, distract yourself from unhealthy thoughts!
You can’t escape the reality, it will always haunt you. Unless you face it and accept it.
You must realize that the fight isn’t over yet! You have a child who’s dependent on you, you need to step forward for your child’s future.
They say life is unfair, be used to it.
Do not feel sorry for yourself, you’ll get over it eventually. And you’re not alone, the fact that you’re reading a blog now about how I handled depression as a single dad proves it.
Here are some tips on how to motivate you.
Now tell me, am I the only one who haven’t thought that blogging is so much fun!?
You get to express your ideas to a massive amount of people and at the same time you make some money?
When I read a blog about blogging, I was like “What the fffaaaapp! I should have done this thing long ago!”
Now, I’m here typing in front of a screen. Only telling people what I’m going through, my experiences and I feel waaaay waaay more than better.
I said that you can also make money by blogging, right? Can you imagine making money at home in front of a laptop with your child next to you sleeping?
Who doesn’t want that kind of lifestyle? Maybe that’s why a lot of moms do blogging.
If you like writing about what you do or what you know, try it!
This is what I’ve done to handle my depression. I’m glad if this gave you ideas to overcome your situation.
Now I have a question for you: What have you done to handle depression as a single parent?