You’re a single dad and don’t have a romantic relationship for some time and the thought to find a new partner bumps into your head now. You want to know now what single dads like you need to avoid in a new partner to make things run smooth with your kids.
I know you have a particular taste in women, but this isn’t the right time to rush things out. You should be careful in choosing a new mom for your children, but what should you ward off in a new partner? Avoid impatient, impulsive, insincere and can’t love your children like her own. These traits won’t do good in your relationship.
We will talk about that but let me tell you an example of why you shouldn’t date these type of women based on my own experience.
Me and my ex-partner separated when my son is about six months old. I took full custody to my son after a month but I was already dating this girl named Hannah.
She’s a nice and kind woman, so I began to like her more because of that. After a few months, I already decided to introduce her to my son and she also wants to see him already.
At first she was nice to him, she even played with him. We started going out together with my little boy, we took him to parks, malls, playgrounds and food courts.
But we know almost all children have attitudes. She started seeing tantrums a lot, and I see it in her that she still can’t handle things like that. So I gave her time to adjust and get to know my son.
I somehow realised that she wants me to have more time with her thay my son which I definitely won’t do.
Eventually our relationship ended because she isn’t ready and maybe she doesn’t expect things to go that way.
I can’t prioritize her over my son. And I will never do to anyone until my son is good on his own.
So what do we need to know? Find a woman who can accept you as you are and can love your children like her own.
You will waste a lot of time and effort if you investem them into a wrong person. Don’t be like me!
What should you avoid in a new partner?
This goes without saying. Patience is a virtue. She should be patient in your relationship and understand the situation.
There will be times that you can’t reply to her text messages for a few hours or cannot answer calls because of parental duties.
And if she passed through the first phase, she will be facing the problem with your children. They may not like her at first and if she doesn’t have the patience to get to know your child and adopt your parenting styles, she’ll only get a hard time and fail eventually.
You have kids to prioritize before anything else and if she cannot understand the fact that she’ll only be the second priority for you, drop her.
Let’s say she already loves you, and told you it’s okay with her to accompany you in parenting your children but you somewhat feel she doesn’t like what she’s doing after knowing your kids.
You and your kids can easily sense this deceptiveness in her. She would just develop a gap to you and your child.
You wouldn’t want things like these to happen.
Find someone who is honest and will truly care for you and your children, not just in the beginning but throughout your relationship.
Find someone who can be ready or willing to be a new part of your family. She should make decisions as a parent with children.
A good companion doesn’t take actions in a heat of the moment without a thought.
Money is a good example where many of us make an impulsive decision where we and your family can potentially end up in a bad situation.
Choosing a right partner that can think of a decision that can be benefited by all person involved is crucial to a success in a long term relationship.
Can’t love your children like her own
If you find a potential partner, she should be willing to treat and accept your child like her own.
If she doesn’t have kids, look at how she interact with other children. If she has her own, she should be treating your kids then same as hers.
Kids would possibly hate her at the early phase of your relationship because they don’t know her personality yet. But this should not be the reason to hate them back.
Instead, she will take the time to learn more about them and act as a responsible step mother.
Loving children you don’t own is hard but she should do her best to make your kids feel that she is a good person and she’ll treat them like her offsprings.
If you fail in choosing a woman that can love your children like her own, the situation will be a burden to your kids as they grow up.
No matter what happens, your ex will still be seeing your kids and this is an expected thing to happen.
If she ever interacts with your ex, she should not be acting rude to her as it will be the cause of your break up. Believe me or not. This happened to me not just once.
If she’s jealous about your ex, a word about her will always spark that leads to a wildfire between you two.
Let her know that she is your current partner and your ex will never be involved with you except for your kids.
How can you find the right companion for you?
- Take it slow
It is better for you and your kids to take your relationship slowly. Give everyone a time to adjust for the new chapter of your lives.
I know you miss having sex and romantic nights but don’t try to have overnights at your house, especially when kids are at home.
This will create confusion in them and will build hate towards your new partner. Take some time to let her dive deeper into your life.
Get to know each other well know her strengths and weaknesses before introducing her at home.
- Be patient and positive
Time will come and you will find the perfect companion for you. Know that there’s billions of women in the globe.
Start with being friends, understand her likes and dislikes, talk more about her perspective in things.
The cards will favor you the right place at the right time. Chill and relax.
- Pick the right place to meet new women
Bars and clubs are the go to of some social people. You will find beautiful and naughty women there, don’t fall into this trap.
You don’t want to find a partner that you only know about happy moments. Negative moments are the best to know their true personality.
I’m not saying that all women that goes to bars and clubs are like these but you get the idea here right?
- Do not date for rebounds
I know break-up, divorce or whatever you want to call your ex’s separation with you is hard. Give yourself a break. Do not pursue rebounds.
Wait for the right time when you have fully recovered emotionally because dating for rebounds will not improve you or your kids.
It is also not a race that when the other has a new partner, he/she wins. Heal your wounds first before coming to a new war.
Avoiding these types of women can benefit you and your children at the long run. If you decided to choose the right kind, you also save your heart from another fall into a pit you dug by yourself.
These are all based on my experiences as a single dad who wants a better relationship next time and doesn’t waste a lot of energy.
Now my question for you: What are traits of a new partner do you avoid?