Would you let your child grow up with a low self-esteem? I don’t think so. That’s why we’ll talk about how to develop your child’s confidence for all of us single dads.
At some point, children of single parents don’t have much confidence in themselves. So how can you develop this in your child? The best answer to this is become a role model to them, give them attention, make them social, teach them the right mindset and teach them to be responsible.
Children who don’t have much confidence have trouble trying new things. They have fear for failures and disappointments.
You will also notice that they don’t make a lot of friends. Talking with other children and the feeling of rejection restricts their will to make friends.
This results to sadness or depression.
We all want our children to have lots of friends, engage with other children, become adventurous, creative and happy.
But can you do that if you’re a single dad? I know you are a busy person. You have a job, doing household chores on your own and some other responsibilities which may be doubled because of your situation.
I’ve also been thinking if I can give enough time to build up my son’s confidence. So I researched about boosting your child’s self-esteem.
After I have read a few articles, it seems that you don’t need to pour all of your time to do this. Doing these little things regularly for your child can build him up overtime.
These tips can help your child in the long run.
1. Be a role model
The very first rule to develop your child’s self confidence is have confidence yourself. You cannot teach someone with things that you don’t have wisdom for.
Your child will see your actions and will unconsciously imitate your behavior, so you should do your best in everything you do.
Let him see you talk to people with a smile and eye contact. Just make sure you don’t overdo it, you will look creepy. Kidding!
Show him that you are not perfect and nobody is. Know that you can overcome weaknesses and can improve in every aspects of your life.
Remember this every time, you are his role model and he will do whatever you do. Whatever values and behavior you show him will be a lesson for him.
2. Focus on your child
I have stated earlier that we single parents are busy people but whenever you have free time, dedicate this to your child.
Give him enough attention and love. If your child knows he is loved, it is easy for him to build up his confidence.
Children with low self esteem needs love and acceptance. Tell him you love him and give lots of hugs.
Dedicate some time to play with your child. Encourage him to do whatever he wants to with your guidance.
Listen to what he is saying and show interest in his ideas. Be engaged if he needs help with things he does.
3. Make him feel safe
Let your child know that you are always behind his back if ever he may fall. Work out on gaining his trust on you.
Listen to what he have to say and make sure you do it all ears. Even it is nonsense, you will know more about his personality and how they think.
If he stumbles, show him a strong hand and pick him up, dust him off and start over again like nothing happened.
There will be times that your child will test your temper but whatever happens, act accordingly. Do not make him think that every time he makes a mistake, you will punish him.
Children will need special attention. Never humiliate or put him down for his mistakes.
4. Succeed or Learn
Explain to your child that nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and that is given. Let him know that only two things should happen if he does something, either he succeed or learn from the lesson.
He should understand that mistakes have consequences. There are punishment for the wrong doings.
But after all, don’t forget to show him mercy. And again nobody is perfect.
We all have made failures and mistakes in our lives, the good thing is that lesson we learn from the experiences.
Tell him that mistakes are just stepping stones to success. You will never learn the real life lessons if you do not go through this part.
Your child will face these events in his future and train him to take one of these in everything he does: Succeed or learn the lesson.
5. Praise him
Offering a genuine and honest praise can greatly help in your child’s confidence but do not over do it. Overdoing it may cause your child to misunderstand things.
You should praise him specifically like “Good job for working hard on your project!” Instead of a simple “Good job!”
You should also praise him for the efforts and not for the outcome. This way even if he fail for what he has done, you let him know that you appreciated his efforts. Instead of saying “You did a great job for having a perfect score!”, say “You did a great job for studying hard!”
This will also help him handle rejections and disapproval. Let him know that even he got rejected, he did a good job for having courage to try things.
6. Encourage him to be social
Making friends also helps your child to build confidence. Engaging with other people gives him a head start to explore things around him
He will know more on how to approach people and how to communicate properly. Which he will need later in his life.
Encourage him to join sports clubs and other extracurricular activities to meet more people he can interact with.
You can try playdates for children or if you’re not into playdates, you can check this blog on playdate alternatives for single dads.
7. Provide age-appropriate responsibilities
Introducing age-appropriate responsibilities at an early age is a must for him to improve his character.
Letting him help you on simple household chores is a great way to know that he can do things successfully with rules and consequences.
Tell him you are happy that he’s able to cooperate and follow rules.
By providing age appropriate responsibilities, you do not only boost his self esteem but also preparing him to become a responsible adult.
Building up your child’s confidence is a way for him to achieve success in life. Know more of him, nurture his strengths and help him overcome weaknesses. These tips are the keys in developing his personality. Love them and give lots of attention.
Now for my question: How do you build up your child’s confidence?